SEX ABUSE AND PERVERSION

The King’s Son

There was a boy whose father was a king.  He had interest in his half-sister and wanted to have sex with her.  The thought of this disturbed him so much and soon it became obvious to his friend that something was wrong.  His friend inquired and he told him of his desire and burning passion for his half-sister. The friend gave him terrible advice, to feign sickness and send to his father to ask his half-sister to come and prepare food for him.  This plan seemed good to them and it worked out!  His father sent her to him and she prepared food for him.  He then grabbed her and raped her.  After the sex, he hated her more than he loved her earlier.

1. What would you say about the boy’s action?

2. Do you think he got satisfaction?

3. Why do you think he hated the girl afterward?

In God’s design, sexual activity is only to be practiced in marriage. Therefore, proper use of sex is in marriage.  

Sex abuse is improper expression of sexuality or misuse of the gift of sex. Generally, any sexual activity outside of marriage is misuse of sexuality. Legally, any sexual activity against the consent of any of the parties involved is sexual abuse. Sex is a powerful force.  It is like fire, which can be very useful but can also destroy a house and entire property or even kill people or wipe away a community within a short time. The same is true about sex.  When people try to satisfy their sexual desire outside marriage, it constitutes an abuse and can destroy them, their homes and others.

The Concept of Sexual Perversion

Carl’s Story

Carl passed her common entrance examination into one of the big Government Girls’ schools in town.  Her first impression about the school was that the senior girls were very kind. She felt safe and secure since the senior girls were taking good care of the junior girls and providing them extra beverages.

Soon she was caught in a web of lesbianism.  She could not complain because she discovered that it was a very normal phenomenon in that school.  Though she did not initially like it, as years passed by, she became engulfed in the practice.  How to stop it was a problem and it also affected her studies. She performed badly in her last exam and her parents were not happy with her.

Margaret’s Story

Margaret received her admission letter into a Polytechnic and was so excited to leave home after one year of waiting for the admission. However her father was unhappy because of the school she was admitted into.  This made Margaret confused and sad.  Her father told her that he did not want her to go to that school because a man once came to the school and offered a huge amount of money to two girls so that they could have sex with his dog.  The two girls accepted the money and had sex with the dog.  A few days later, they were rushed to a hospital where they died.  “That school is the worst school around. I would not want you to go there.  The students of that school are wild and wayward,” he explained

1.   What are the wrong practices found among schoolgirls?

2.   If you were any of the girls, what would you do?

Any form of sex that is not between a man and a woman is sexual perversion.

Sex is an exclusive relationship meant only for a man and a woman who are bound in marriage.

Forms of Sex Abuse and Perversion

Abuse	Perversion
1. Fornication	Homosexuality
2. Adultery	Lesbianism
3. Rape	Bestiality
4. Incest	Masturbation
	Pornography

1. Fornication – sexual intercourse between people before marriage
2. Adultery – Sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his/her spouse.
3. Rape – Forced sexual intercourse – sex without the consent of one partner
4. Incest – Sexual relationship between family members or relations
5. Homosexuality – Sexual relationship between persons of the same gender: e.g. male and male.
6. Lesbianism – A female homosexual: sexual relationship between a female and female
7. Bestiality – Sexual relations with animals.
8. Masturbation- Arousal of self sexually.

Think About This

Fire can be very useful. We use it at home to prepare our meals and sometimes to keep us warm. But what happened when it is taking out of the fire place? When not handled with care and left to burn indiscriminately? Have you seen the disaster that such fire has caused before?

 Sex is beautiful within the confined of the husband and  wife. Any form of sexual pervasion destroys life. Save your life.

culled from FCS Life Skills Manual

Don't Forget to share with your friends on Facebook

Contact us on: 0703444980, 08065555577, 08065555588

Fcsaid4life@gmail.com, fcseditorgg@yahoo.com

Click here  to like our facebook page

MY FIRST KISS

"You say you love the rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say  you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. That’s why I’m afraid to say that I love you".

This was a message that cut my attention as I glanced through my mails that morning. Frank who has been having a crush on me right from high school sent me this mail after making several fruitless advances towards getting my attention. All the while I’ve pretended not to like him because I used to be a decent girl while growing up. I wouldn't want to fail neither my parents who have confidence in me, nor my pastor who always looked at me as a model sweet sixteen among the teens.

It was on a valentine day just after Frank and I got admission into same university. It was not a coincidence in Frank's part rather it was another great opportunity for him to win my uncompromising heart. After reading the mail, I was down thinking, though never had intention of hooking up with any guy till my third year, because I wanted to face my studies squarely and hooking up could be a lot of distractions. 

Still pondering on the mail, my phone rang. It was frank. He asked if I could come on a date with him that night at a guesthouse close to my school. At first I didn’t like the idea, but I gave it a second thought considering the fact that Frank has been someone I had admired secretly. I gave a positive response to his. 

After that night we got talking and later he demanded for a kiss – my first kiss - which I gave him, he then asked for  something that I have treasured all this while – My Virginity. But I resisted that day. My resistance persisted until after three attempts. But after his third attempt, I was scared of losing him totally. Lacking idea of what next to do, wanting to keep him but avoiding to yield to his request, I was then found at a cross road of either to lose him or to comprise my stands. Obviously he wasn’t getting a very clear “NO” from Me. Then he knew I could submit after further persuasions. Having read really wide on how to escape the consequences of sex and STDs, my logistics were decent and my level of desire was raised high. I resolved to giving him a chance. With full confidence that I can avoid the dangers of pre-marital sex. I removed the umbrella while in the rain to show my love to the rain, I stayed under the scorching heat of the sun to make the sunshine happy. I opened my windows not minding the wind. But alas, my dead weight could not bear the force of the wind. The wind neglected my outward beauty, prestige, friends ....... It attacked my spirit, soul and body.

Little did I know that the contraceptive that Frank used failed. I got pregnant and we decided to abort it. We went to a far place in order to protect my integrity. On our way to the hospital we fell into the hand of the arm robbers. All attempts made to heed to toes was met with two bullets from their Ak47 separating my epithelial tissue down to the sebaceous gland before reaching out for my femur. The next thing, I saw myself in the hospital with a device hung for administering fluid into my veins. Mum  was right beside me with a facial expression of a depressed and disappointed poor woman. 

Ouch! My life was blew away from God's presence, and my soul was given to the devil. My spirit was no longer sensitive to His voice. I was driven out of His tent, my soul was disturbed . I tried to put myself together, got back on my feet and move on with my life, but the ground was slippery. Despite the sunshine, my days are dark and cold. Walking during daylight does not stop me from stumbling. I could not attain the best of my academics because understanding becomes rare for me.  Oh just because of My first kiss! 

First kiss is the beginning of some people's joy if it is done at the right and God's own time but mine opens door for trauma. My pain is like a rain falling in stream of tears. Had I known I wouldn't have submitted to him. My dreams, ambition, talent, vision, purpose was aborted in the twinkle of an eye. May be, if I come to this world again I may achieve my aim.

Young lady! Did I just heard saying your own story can never be as worst as this? It may interest you to know that each steps you take towards compromising your moral stands is a gradual process to a similar life as the girl in this story; an emotional ‘shatteredness’ and destiny wretchedness. Don’t you think it will be wise to watch your steps? You’re your eyes. Remember life is a seed. Whatever foundation you lay now must reflect in whatever building we see tomorrow. So be wise! 

By Odesola Taiwo
University of Abuja

Do you have an article that you think can bless the life of guys and girls out there, then feel free to share it with us and we will publish it on this blog.

Contact us on: 0703444980, 08065555577, 08065555588

Fcsaid4life@gmail.com, fcseditorgg@yahoo.com

Click here  to like our facebook page

A LETTER FROM HEAVEN

Dear Children

I have called you together to be lovers and to reflect my love for you. I created the marriage relationship to be the visible expression of my nature on earth. I created you together in my image, so that I can reveal myself to you and to the world through your relationship. As I am three-in-one, Father, Son and Holy Spirit so you are to be two-in-one, united in marriage.

You each have your own personality and function, but you are also called to serve and work for the well-being of the other. As you learn to submit to one another in love, always wanting the best for each other, you will find freedom to become all that I, your Father, intended you should be.

There is an important, life-changing lesson here to learn. Fulfilment does not come from getting what is rightfully yours; fulfilment comes from relinquishing all those rights for the sake of your partner. I call you to lay down your life for the one you love. True love is based on unconditional acceptance. Your love is to be a safe place to which you can retreat when you feel battered, rejected and alone. I loved you so much that I gave my Son – his life for yours. You are to be an earthly demonstration of that love. You did not deserve my love, but I have always been there for you, and always will be. My plan is that we should be together forever in the place I am preparing for you. You may not always feel that your partner deserves your love, but when you choose to love just because you love, you are being like me.

Enjoy your love! Be happy that I have brought you together. Accept the responsibility and privilege that comes with taking marriage vows. Learn how to carry each other’s burdens; to hear each other’s hurts; to give pleasure to one another. Keep your eyes on me and I will pour my love into yours. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Allow me to help you to change so that as individuals and as a couple you become more like my Son, Jesus. I want to do more for and through your relationship that you could ever ask or even think.

Lovingly,

Your heavenly Father.

Contact us on: 0703444980, 08065555577, 08065555588

Fcsaid4life@gmail.com, fcseditorgg@yahoo.com

Click here  to like our facebook page

WHAT REALLY IS LOVE?

The Concept of Love

Has someone ever told you “I love you”? How did you feel?  Have you ever felt loved? What does love really mean?

Love is a strong feeling of affection and concern for a person or a thing. The truth is that everyone needs love and loves to be loved.  Without love the world is an unsuitable place to live in. 

There are different ways of expressing love, and love means different things to different people.

For example, to an attractive young lady, a footballer, a boy who has a new girlfriend and a mother, love would mean different things.

Types of Love

In Greek, there are four words for ‘Love’: Storge, Philia, Eros and Agape

Storge: This refers to family affection. It is the love a parent has for a child and a child for a parent.  It is a relationship of warmth, comfort and togetherness that is based more on familiarity than merit.

Philia: This is friendship love, which exists between people who share similar interests such as sports, religion, academics, professions, etc.  This kind of love is warm, may not be jealous or exclusive and does not resent addition to its circle.

Eros: This is romantic and sexual love.  It exists between a male and female. It refers to the whole romantic side of our nature. It is an appreciation and admiration of each other’s sexuality. This type of love can fluctuate.

Agape: This is divine love.  It is an unconditional love that is rooted in God’s nature. It is giving and selfless. “For God so loved the world that He gave…” John 3:16.

All the first three kinds of love are polluted and corrupted by sinful nature but when they are founded in Agape, they become pure

Love and Infatuation

Infatuation, simply stated, is a selfish inward looking emotion that comes quickly and disappears just as quickly.  It can occur at first sight or contact.  It is “being temporarily filled with an intense and unreasoning attraction to a person or a thing” (the Oxford Secondary Dictionary).

Listen to this story: Dan had never been to this part of town where a basketball competition was about to begin. On arriving at the venue he went to admire the environment, the basketball pitch and other attractions around. Then he sighted Rose who also came for the competition.  Instantly, Dan fell in love with her and started imagining how they could be together. He did not waste any time in approaching her. “Hello, I love you. I want you to be my girlfriend. I love you so much and in fact I cannot do without you.”  Rose looked at him with admiration.  “I love you too and I’m ready for you,” she replied. Then they both started chatting excitedly.

Can you call this love? Let’s look out some differences between love and infatuation

 

Love	Infatuation
Patient	Hurries:
Takes time to know and give	-Super big, rush for security, acceptance, affection, adventure
Accepts	Seeks to change
Believing the best, thinks the best, always dependable, aims to build and make better	-Wants to change personality, lifestyle to fit in with me or my stereotype
Kind	Demands
Longs to serve, thoughtful, sensitive and caring	-Wants to be served, becomes indifferent, does not take time to understand.
Not jealous	Possessive/insecure
Freedom to develop and have many friends, time and space to be oneself.	-Hostile and distressed over any person or activity that deprives you of time together
Not easily provoked or angry	Easily provoked
Honest, willing to look at weakness in self and others	-Ignores and hides differences and weaknesses, fear, etc.
Not selfish	Selfish
Greatest desire to see that others’ needs are met first	-Wants personal needs met first- Emotional needs must be satisfied

Infatuation may mislead you to think that you are in true love, but after a few days or months you will discover that true love is lacking. Do not be a victim of infatuation (lust).  Be wise and turn to Jesus with all your heart. Note that all forms of sexual sin are a direct product of infatuation (lust).

John. 3:16, 1 Cor. 13